hodge podge

i do not want to go to westport. although i’m sure there will be moments of fun, in general, i just don’t want to be going down there mostly for the reason that we’re going down there for. also, i have no money. also, i’ll miss my dogs. also, i like being at home lately…not other places.

interesting question i was in a position to answer today…’what is your least favorite nationality?’ i chose americans. funny; i don’t like my own nationality.

something else funny…these are my friends —> http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=21745

also, i’ve nicknamed this upcoming/current summer as the make it or break it summer. for various reasons, none of which i want to go into at the moment.

maybe my outlook will change…but the only good thing about this weekend so far is that it will last for3 days instead of 2.

listening to NIN a lot lately. i do that when i go through a period of being fed up with things, or being tense…it’s not necessarily even one thing in particular, just various things. i think it’s because i can tell that i am on the fringe of great change, in one area of my life or another, or in many. i can’t tell really where it will happen, i can just tell that it’s going to within the next few months. i can feel the tension that happens before change…and surprisingly what that tension is causing is a very nonchalant attitude lately about a lot of things. maybe, also, because there’s a part of my little pea brain that is realizing that i only have so much control over things. although i can feel tension and friction in my life, it’s not causing me to break down or freak out (although other things do occassionally), because for the most part, whatever is going to change isn’t all under my control in the first place. i control only myself. of course, it could just be a temporary phase that i’m accepting of this.

i wish i had a comfortable couch.