Strbellysneetch’s Weblog

Thirteen Things That Irritated Me Today

Okay, I know it’s not quite Thursday yet, but I don’t care.

Sometimes during the month I turn into a tight little ball of anger for a day or two and try as I might I’m unable to turn it around (okay, to be totally honest, sometimes I don’t even attempt to muster the energy to try); usually I just let it run its course. Today was one of those days. After being incredibly annoyed all day I came home to the quiet and drank a ton of tomato juice; my rational was, maybe if I drown myself in vitamins and such my mood will improve. This remains to be seen.

1. My internet connection: Clearwire pretty much sucks. It’s likely just where I’m living (between cinderblock walls) that causes it to sleep periodically; it’s still aggravating. Especially when I’m trying to navigate my online classes.

2. Seattle drivers: I ran some errands after work today. Big mistake. FYI, it does not make you clever when driving in an exit only lane, to wait until the last possible second to change lanes when you’re not actually exiting. It only makes you clever if you are intelligent enough to do it in a way that doesn’t cause you to sit at a stand still in the exit lane with your turn signal on. Southbound Mercer is notorious for this.

3. My handwriting: Normally I’m not such a fan of it; today I really hated it.

4. My irritation: I was irritated about being irritated. It’s an incredibly exhausting state to be in.

5. The wind: I thought to myself after returning home that I would sit outside in the fresh air for a bit to study my chapters for this week. It’s windy today, which certainly didn’t make for a relaxing reading experience.

6. The temperature: I felt cold most of the day.

7. My clothes: Nothing felt comfortable; nothing looked good. I abhor days like that.

8. Argosy’s financial aid department: It’s mostly just Aimee that can understand this. It’s too time consuming to try to explain.

9. My neighbors: As I was on the phone attempting to explain as delicately as possible in my irritated state why I needed an evening alone (which I didn’t even do that well by the way), someone knocked on my door. My windows and blinds were open so they could clearly see that I was on my phone. Despite that they started trying to talk to me through my window before I even had a chance to move towards opening the door. The kicker; they don’t even live here…they’re the friend of a neighbor who, as I later learned, wanted to ask about a refridgerator that is up in the storage units. It’s terribly intrusive to do that to people you don’t know well.

10. Money: I sometimes lose patience with the fact that things don’t get completely caught up all at once. It’s a process which requires patience and dilligence month by month. It’s my own fault in the first place, so I mostly get irritated with myself for that one.

11. My toe: Yesterday morning I jammed my pinky toe on Sadie’s bony leg, causing it to turn a most awful shade of purple. It was much better today than it was yesterday, but it still hurt.

12. My therapist: For some reason I thought about our appointment in a couple of weeks; even that irritated me. It doesn’t even have anything to do with her, that’s the stupid part.

13. School: Deadlines, due dates, requirements, assignments, etc. and etc.

My evening plan: finish most of my homework prior to this weekend when I am really busy, take a bath, sleep. It’s a good plan.

Thirteen wonderful quotes

1. If you and I are having a single thought of violence or hatred against anyone in the world at this moment, we are contributing to the wounding of the world. Deepak Chopra
2. It’s very different because the Indians live as if they are their souls and Americans live as if they are their egos. Ram Dass
3. Were it not a fact of experience that supreme values reside in the soul, psychology would not interest me in the least, for the soul would then be nothing but a miserable vapor. Carl Jung
4. Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. Khalil Gibran
5. There is often a big disparity between the way in which we perceive things and the way things really are. 14th Dalai Lama
6. One of the most difficult things is not to change society - but to change yourself. Nelson Mandela
7. The strong man is not the good wrestler; the strong man is only the one who controls himself when he is angry. Muhammad
8. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
   Maya Angelou
9. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more. Erica Jong
10. Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, “She doesn’t have what it takes.” They will say, “Women don’t have what it takes.” Clare Boothe Luce
11. I think it’s about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we’ve been voting for boobs long enough. Clarie Sargent
12. I wish someone would have told me that, just because I’m a girl, I don’t have to get married. Marlo Thomas
13. I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anais Nin

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Kelly, Penelope Anne

Thirteen Things I Would Like To Do Before I’m No Longer Here To Do Them Anymore

1. Visit Amsterdam, and Italy
2. Obtain my Master’s degree
3. Own a house (regardless of how small), so I can have my own garden
4. Own my own business
5. Fly a plane (they don’t have to be completely realistic)
6. Quit smoking (clearly, that needs to be sooner rather than later…in fact it shouldn’t even be on this list, but I put it on here anyway)
7. Forgive myself for certain things that I haven’t forgiven myself for yet
8. Know what it feels like to have a true partner
9. Learn to speak a foreign language
10. Learn to dance really well
11. Visit all of the 50 states (I feel like I’m at least 1/3 of the way there already)
12. Learn to ski
13. Learn to play the piano

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Thirteen Reasons I Love Bay

1. The infamous maow: So, anytime I’m on the phone and I’m at home, whoever I’m speaking to will inevitably hear Bay and laugh. This is due to his meow consistently resembling a mix between a small child and a grown adult very unhappy with their surroundings. Mostly, his maow is developed from years of putting up with the canine species, but I also feel that it’s his particular way of expressing himself whenever anything, anywhere is different (which is all the time really).  Anytime a dog moves in my home, that maow is illicited, anytime the wind changes that maow is illicited, anytime it’s a new day that maow is illicited. It’s fun.

2. He was handed down: Bay originated from a friend years and years ago. They obtained him from PAWS (which is a kick-ass organization, by the way) and at a certain point felt that they couldn’t care for him anymore. I had fallen in love with him the first time I saw him at their house, so I was more than happy to take him when they decided they couldn’t have him.

3. He ate Aaron’s bagel: Way back when I was living with Pean and the only animals we had were our cats…my Bay, and her cat. At the time she was dating Aaron (who we no longer think positively of) and he spent the night a lot. Aaron liked to bring bagels for his breakfast. One morning, he made the mistake of leaving the bagel on the kitchen counter which was a problem…Bay likes bread. I have to hide it from him to this day. Of course Bay ate the bagel, but he ate so much that he ended up on the couch with a bloated tummy by the time Aaron was awake to retrieve the bagel. That morning, Aaron felt the need to poke Bay’s over-full tummy which elicited his infamous “maow”. It was funny…I promise.

4. He holds paws: Ever since I brought him home years ago his preferred method of sleeping is on my pillow. When I first got him I used to hold his little paw before I went to sleep (sometimes, I still do this)…the beauty part of it is that he let me (and still lets me).

5. I’ve moved him a hundred times and he still sticks around: He knows that I’m home, regardless of where we move.

6. He has dealt with many dogs: When I first got Sadie, he boycotted sleeping on my pillow to prove a point. But, eventually he resumed our closeness and adjusted quite well to having Sadie around. He has repeated the same through various dogs that have come and gone.

7. My neighbors greet him: Seriously…I can be inside doing homework or whatnot and I routinely hear neighbors saying when he is outside, “hi Bailey…hi Bailey…”. It’s way cute. Really.

8. He keeps watch over the neighborhood: After I finally broke down and let him go outside in the middle of downtown Seattle I noticed a piculiar pattern. He never goes farther than the immediate boundaries of my apartment building. His favored method of doing this is giving me a “maow” to go outside, taking at least two turns around the building to see what’s going on, and then promptly returning with a “maow” to be let inside. 

9. He follows me: Currently if I am visiting a neighbor and he happens to be outside, he comes to find me…and “maow’s” until he is let inside the apartment that I’m visiting. The best part is that my neighbors allow him in.

10. He makes friends: One weekend one of my neighbors text messaged me to let me know that Bay was inside his apartment taking part in a cozy nap. So cute.

11. He is always soft: The cat constantly cleans. Constantly. Granted, this is not such a desired trait when I’m trying to sleep and I’m hearing him lick himself to death…but he’s always so cute and fuzzy as a result.

12. We have an understanding: Consequently, when he decides that 1am is good time to take a bath all it takes is a strongly voiced “Bay”, to get him to quiet down.

13. He loves everyone: This is why he solicits himself at neighbor’s apartments, why he cuddles anyone that comes to visit, and why no matter what new animal I bring home he continues to love me.

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 Thirteen Reasons I Did Not Pursue The Arizona Thing

1. Stability:  I like it. Sometimes I get all caught up in the wistful thinking that I can be the kind of person that doesn’t need it, but I actually do.

2. My Home:  Since I officially moved out of my house I have lived in this apartment the longest. Which is odd, I know. I used to move on average 1.5 times per year (I know this because I did the math once). I like my home right now and I feel comfortable here. Had I left for a few months there would have been no guarantee that I would have a place here.

3. My Job:  I am just now beginning to build up time with THS again. They took me back after I did my internship with them and made the mistake of following my old supervisor to somewhere new. Also, I really love my job and I just wasn’t ready to leave it; it just wasn’t the right time.

4. My Family:  Put simply, they need me right now. My mom needs me; she has been there every time that I needed her and I just wasn’t about to leave at a time that she needed me for once. Plus, I’m really attached to them; it just would have been too hard to leave them, even for a few months.

5. My Dogs:  I’m terribly attached to them too, as I should be. Truth be told it was a lie to myself to say that it would have worked out to bring Sadie along. I would have had to leave them both and that just would have been too difficult.

6. Therapy:  I just started a therapy relationship with someone that I feel will be extremely helpful to me. It would have been anti-productive to leave at that time.

7. Money:  Had I a good amount of money saved up it would have been more realistic for it all to have worked out. As it stands I’m just now trying to get into a position of no debt so that I can actually have money saved. Leaving stable employment would clearly have been counterproductive to that goal.

8. School:  Yah, I could have switched to all online classes which can be completed anywhere. But would I really have done all that well in them surrounded by a party/do nothing responsible environment? No.

9. Holidays: As much as I’m stressed out about the state of my family currently it would have hurt to miss the holidays with them. They probably would have felt sad too. Which is lame to do to people.

10. Location:  I have never in my life said to myself, “gee, it would be really neat to live in Arizona for a while”. Not once. San Fran maybe…in another country maybe. Arizona? Not so much.

11. My Neighbors:  I suppose this really belongs with reason #2 but I gave it its own reason. I love them. I have never lived somewhere (with exception of my mom’s house) that I knew most of my neighbors and was actually close friends with them. I have never lived somewhere that I felt so safe simply because of that fact. If someone tried to break into my apt. and got past Sadie’s vicious protective side, one serious ‘I’m in danger’ scream would have at least three of them at my door. Plus, my neighbor’s son calls me Kelifers…no one in AZ would call me Kelifers. :)

12. Chaos:  As my P gently pointed out when I asked her what she honestly thought about the whole idea it would only have added more chaos and ‘drama’ to my life at a time that I’m trying to reduce the chaos. Sure, it would have been a whole lot of fun with a best friend that I dearly adore…but it would have just added more to deal with in the end.

13. Bay:  He has been the best cat ever. It took me almost a year to be comfortable with letting him outside here in a downtown area (and he’s done wonderfully…like I said, he’s a good cat-he always comes back). My neighbor said that he would be happy to watch over Bay so that he could still live here and know where home is, but the thing is, home is where I’m at for him.

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