Strbellysneetch’s Weblog

 Thirteen Of My Deal Breakers

This is my attempt at coming up with thirteen-knowing myself as well as I do, it shouldn’t really be that big of a problem.

1. Lies: It was the first one I came up with because it causes an unmistakable animalistic anger for me. I hate lies more than anything. Worse yet, is lying to me and then following it up with a hearty,

“I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings”.

2. Leering at other women while with me: To be clear, leering is in a very different category than is noticing people that are attractive. I notice people that are attractive all the time..I don’t however, do this: leer-

3. Inappropriate freak-outs (and/or treating people poorly): Example…if I am out to dinner with someone and there is something wrong to the point where a complaint is merited it is highly embarrassing when it is handled in a callous manner. Like, treating the waitstaff like they are gum on the bottom of a shoe, or yelling so that everyone else dining at the same time stares. All behavior like this does is prove that you don’t know how to handle yourself or other people. Terribly unattractive.

4. Refusing to take no for an answer (regardless of how long I have been dating you): Probably this is self-explanatory. We’ll just leave it at that.

5. Lack of ambition: Ambition does not equal ‘money’ just so that this is clear (in actuality people that care only about money and ‘toys’ are not, in my experience, enjoyable to be around). The most excellent definition of ambition:

Genuine passion to strive for something better (no matter what it is), to do something good in life, or to better ones self in any way is so totally attractive. Truly. People that have no desire to do anything resembling this…really not attractive.

6. Poor table manners: I believe that says it all.

7. A closed mind: Men that are always interested in learning about something new or something different…so hot. With two t’s even.

8. Poor hygiene: I feel like this is sort of a given. But I’m mentioning it anyway.

9. Inability to express ones self in an intelligent maner: Men that are smart…I love it. (This also means, the ability to spell, speak, and use smart people words sometimes).

10. Taking the liberty of moving my things around or leaving messes in my living areas: Leaving trash in areas that it doesn’t belong after you’ve gone from my home, moving stuff around without replacing it to its proper area. Fine…it’s a little crazy…but in return I won’t go to your home and move things around and leave things lying around everywhere. It’s a two way street.

11. Slapping me on the bum in public (and other similar behavors): It’s ‘frat boy’ behavior, it’s degrading in my opinion, and I just don’t like it (I can say this from experience…I’ve dated people who have done this to me).

12. Being unable to be my friend: Friends laugh together, they avoid judging each other, they put aside their own stuff when friends are going through a difficult time (and if they can’t naturally understand that hard time on their own they ask how they can understand it and be helfpul), they avoid possesiveness, they trust you until you’ve given them a reason not to, they’re loyal to you, they consider your feelings as well as their own. Being a friend is the most important part.

13. Lack of a sense of humor: Life is funny and if you can’t laugh at it you’re not that fun to be around.

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Because it’s just one more way that they can sell women as things.

According to AOL:

Why would anyone watch pillow fights? Because the participants will be attractive women wearing skimpy outfits.

Usually, although it doesn’t seem so on the outside, on the inside I try to be an idealist on matters such as where we are all headed as a society. Things like this don’t do much to facilitate that inner ideal.

But in a really good way.

Let me just start by saying that I now love this website. Heartless bitches is right-about ten times over.

I’ll continue by pointing out a quote on that page that says:

I do get called a bitch quite often. What I do NOT get called is pushover, stupid, sweetheart, dear or doormat. Works for me. Rebecca M.

I’ll end by pointing out this link which is a statement by a man discussing what mysogyny really is in every day situations.

Once I figured this out, many things about misogyny became clear. A misogynistic value system would favor women who put out and are easy to control. Misogynists would talk about women in a dehumanized way, i.e., nice legs, great ass, etc, as if women were nothing more than a collection of body parts. Dating and relationships would become a game of manipulation fraught with various seedy techniques and ploys designed to get women to have sex. Something else I noticed as I browsed the web is that although misogynists try to control women, they are ironically dependent on women for validation in front of other men and society. This dependence is disempowering and only adds to the anger and resentment misogynists feel towards women.

Thank you. Thank you, and thank you.

The most kick-ass thing I’ve read in a very long time.