VD

One of my best friends sent me a text message today that read “happy veeedeee”. It was the funniest thing I’d experienced all day (with exception of a somewhat “politically incorrect” joke my Dad made that I will choose to not repeat). Oh p.s., the text that she sent me was not indicative of anything…just in case it needs to be said.

I’ve never been a raving fan of Valentine’s day. I suppose in grade school it was fun to open up all the Valentine cards that everyone was forced to purchase and give away. In retrospect it seems that filling out approximately 30 of those cards up until the 6th grade was more work than the end result was really worth.

When I was 15 and started dating I recall thinking for a while that certainly with the added bonus of a boyfriend something exceptional and dazzling must happen on this holiday. Eventually I realized that it was pretty much just another day regardless of the relationship I was in. We might exchange small gifts, we would spend time together and do the “I love you’s’ and such but obviously it wasn’t particularly memorable since I am hard pressed to clearly remember any of those days. I do remember one in particular in the last few years that I suppose at the time felt special; looking back now though it was essentially just a day where I received pretty promises that were never fulfilled…completely demonstrative of the entire relationship I might add. The last Valentine’s day that I was in a relationship was pretty bad (coincidentally the same relationship as the pretty promise holiday). I won’t go into the details but it was just…not good.

I have now been essentially single for the past couple of V-days and I’ve been fine with it. I no longer have unrealistic expectations as when I was a teenager and I have no issue with not being in a relationship on the holiday. I don’t cry and lament that I’m single…I don’t insist on going out with my single friends armed with the ulterior motive of wanting to meet someone so that I’m not “alone”. I’m okay with it. Today was surprisingly the best Valentine’s day I’ve had in a long while. I spent it with my entire immediate family and it was fun…especially after the long week I’ve had. We ate dinner, we hung out at my Dad’s house for a while just talking and being together which we don’t do as much as we should. It was good. I could have gone out with my Mom and sister but I was tired and chose to come home to my girls (aka the wacko canines that also reside in my tiny apt).

It was a good week all in all, especially after the tiny epiphany I had the other night. The thing is a few years of not talking to someone can have a side effect of making them look better than when you left them. Sometimes people have the capacity to change at their very core, in how they think, how they behave, how they treat others…I’ve come to think that it’s the exception however. Time can sometimes trick one into seeing that in someone when it’s not really there. I realized something else during the conversation that afforded me the epiphany…I’m single right now because I choose not to settle. I choose not to settle for a relationship that doesn’t entirely fit, I choose not to settle for someone that treats me in a way that I can’t appreciate, I choose not to settle for someone that happens to not have the qualities that I would appreciate in a relationship, I choose not to settle for a lot of things. And that’s entirely okay.

Affirmative…it was a good holiday after a good week.

All I wanted to do was a bit of laundry

That’s it. Maybe some cleaning that really needs to be done before a single person sets foot in my apt on Wednesday evening. But at least some laundry, because the pile of it had become a house of its own in the back room of my tiny apt.

The day was overwhelming to say the least, after many days of not being at work to handle the stuff that piles up so willingly. I almost stayed way late to get more done than I could in a 8 hour day, but decided against it, because I have my own life too. I may have been better off staying at work.

I arrived home and was greeted by the same SUV that has been blocking the apt alleyway for the past four days…the alleyway that conveniently holds our huge dumpsters that are now overflowing…because the parking “authority” didn’t think it was all that important the first four times I called. So I called them again because officially it is now an abandoned vehicle per their definition. I was told it could be up to two weeks before they get to it. The garbage is already overflowing.

Fine. They don’t care and I’m doing what I can do. So I continued on to pile up a couple of bedrooms of laundry from the newly formed house and plodded up to the laundry room. It took me a second to realize that the laundry room was less bright than it regularly is. A light out. A light requiring a bulb that has to be special ordered and that I don’t have on hand because I”m not “on top of” one single thing in my life right now. Nice.

I’m probably over dramatizing, I tend to do that. The light broke the proverbial camel’s back however. It’s amazing how much things can break. That’s what today made me think of especially after a conversation I had earlier in the day.

My family postponed our routine Christmas eve dinner until this past Saturday due to the inclement weather. It sounds silly, but every year my uncle lovingly builds what he calls the “chili pepper lounge” (named so because he puts up chili pepper lights rather than Christmas lights) on the back deck for those of us in the family that make the poor decision to smoke. Usually he will come out at some point and smoke a cigar. He did this as usual on Saturday. Only, the lounge did not hold chili pepper lights this year. He couldn’t find them and instead put up blue and green lights. Seahawks for those of you that don’t know. We remarked on the lack of chili pepper lights and he explained laughingly that instead we had Seahawks lights. I made some disparaging comment about football which (although I don’t really hate football and actually enjoy going to the games) is just what I do and he returned said comment by saying in general that as far as sports in Seattle this past year, things couldn’t get much worse.

I just couldn’t leave it alone (as per usual) and said, “well…they could always sell the Seahawks next year”. Nice, Kelly. However, he did concede his point and say, “well, I suppose things could get worse”.

It’s really nice and quaint to say that “things couldn’t get much worse” in various situations and referring to various things. The fact of the matter is, things can always break a little more. As small as they’ve been reduced to they can always get smaller, and a little bit worse even if the “worse” seemed incomprehensible. We did split the atom after all.

Things can break more at any time, and some things continue to break a little more over periods of time until one day it’s too obvious to ignore, and sometimes they are beyond one person’s control. The little dutch boy in the popular fable did his best with the whole dike thing, but one person can’t fix something alone, or even hold things as they are alone. I know that as I get older I’m supposed to accept this more gracefully…the whole “I can’t fix everything” and “I can’t keep people from arguing or fighting”. The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t get easier to accept. It actually seems to get more frustrating.

Home electronics

My nephew really wants a Wii for Christmas. He has been asking for one, I”m told. I also have the knowledge that probably everyone else in the house including my Mom would really enjoy having it as well. When people I love want something, I want to get it for them. It’s a heartwarming thought, isn’t it?

What could possibly be wrong with that? Couple it with my tendency to procrastinate and it becomes a problem. Naively I thought I could make some phone calls last night and find one. I know.

Fascinatingly I just happened to check craigslist on a whim. First add that came up had been posted ten minutes prior. Never been used Wii system for $300. Fine. I called the guy and luckily he picked up; I say lucky because he mentioned that he had already missed four calls. I told him that somehow, someway I would make it to Lynnwood the next morning to pick it up. He said that if he didn’t hear from me by 11 he would sell it to someone else. Okay.

I called my Dad this morning, who had thankfully offered to help me buy all the Wii accourtrements and stuff, and explained the situation. He has 4 wheel drive; we decided to make a trip of it. So, about 9:30am we were headed to Lynnhood (misspelling on purpose). I had already called the Wii guy twice and left  messages. I had received no response. At that point I became a tad concerned since we were already driving up there, but thought that maybe he was still sleeping, or out to xmas eve breakfast, or whatever it is that other people do on xmas eve morning.

4 wheel drive got us there safely and efficiently…with still no word from the Wii guy. So, we sat in the Lynnhood park & ride parking lot chatting. I drove around in the snow packed parking lot for a while, which was great fun. At 10:15 with still no response from the Wii guy my disappointed Dad suggested we get some breakfast at the local Ihop. I felt bad for him having driven all the way up there for what I thought was nothing, he was disappointed thinking that probably the guy had sold it to someone else who offered more money and was losing some faith in the humanity of others.

We sat down to breakfast and chatted some more. I sadly called my sister and told her the news and asked her to just do some checking on craigslist to see if anyone else happened to have one for sale. I asked if he would be happy with an xbox and she said that he had been asking for a Wii (that is actually when I learned this fact). Okay.

10:45am the Wii guy finally calls. He had stayed up too late and slept very late. I almost got on the floor of the Ihop and thanked the heavens above (thankfully I restrained myself because lord only knows what was on that floor). The God of a Wii guy said that he would meet us at the Ihop. My Dad’s faith in people was restored. I was happy that, yes, my nephew would certainly get his Wii for xmas and that the trip hadn’t turned out to be one big disappointment in other humans. My Dad thanked the guy when he got there for keeping his word and the Wii guy did say that other people had offered him more money than he was asking to sell it to them right then. Bless him. I would have hugged him if he had gotten out of the car.

We proceeded to Best Buy to get my little nephew everything that he would need to be able to play the day of xmas, which of course he will want to do. All in all it was a really good xmas eve day, even though earlier in the day our Aunt had postponed the normal xmas eve festivities due to the weather. I got to spend the day with my Dad which I don’t normally have a chance to do, my nephew and family will get their Wii, and I have the rest of the evening to relax and wrap presents.

Although…unfortunately, some of what I will be wrapping will be pictures of what I had ordered online which, due to the stupid ass weather, I was not able to receive yet. Happy Christmas!

The good stuff…

And only the good stuff.

1. Compliments: This evening while chatting outside with Kait for a bit one of our neighbors passed by on his way to his apt. He said, “it’s looking really good around here, compliments to you”. I almost cried. It’s one thing for friends to notice how hard one works, but for someone who isn’t obligated to notice it? Well, that’s just good stuff.
2. Losing: Clients that is. After having a caseload of 100 or more for heaven knows how long, I was able to transfer 10 clients today to a new counselor that has started. To be clear, it’s not that I necessarily didn’t want to work with the particular clients transferred…being overworked is dragging, and it’s nice to finally get some reprieve.
3. Addiction: I. Can. Not. Stop. Playing. PS2. I can’t. The addiction has been renewed. I know, PS2? Sounds lame I’m sure, but I’m certainly not going to go out and spend $300 (or is it more? I don’t even know) on a PS3. I haven’t messed with it for a long time, but for some reason I’ve been recently obsessed with it. I even think about it at work; sometimes I wish I could go home early to hide in PS2-ism. It’s kind of fun right now. Don’t judge me.
4. Thanksgiving: It will be here in 8 days. I love it for a few reasons…first, I heart holidays with my family; we’re mostly happy/jovial, we joke around, we hang out. Also, I love stuffing. Also, I get a four-day weekend, and I get paid for not working the Friday after.

There’s some good stuff lately. I like it.

Piglet’s birthday

Was an absolute ton of fun, as is demonstrated here. I have some great friends; I’m lucky.