Gone kitty gone…and some other sad things

Bailey has left. My only hope is that he hasn’t left for good. Signs have been made and put up in opportune areas of Queen Anne. I have posted an ad on Craigslist (idea courtesy of my Aimee…why did I not think of that?). I’m currently storming my brain for other websites to post it on just in case. I offered $50 because that’s pretty much what I can afford to offer. Poor bay. I miss him horribly. He has always come back before so the only thing I can think of as to why he hasn’t this time is that someone took him in thinking he was stray. I have promised myself that if I get him back I am putting a collar on him so tight that he will never get it off (but still be able to breathe of course).

Taking Steps Back

Sometimes things happen way too fast and way too soon. And sometimes on top of that there are someone else’s issues that cause too much distress, even though they remain someone else’s issues. Issues like divorce and children and pain and upset and wanting to support and be there but at the same time knowing that it’s not fair to me that I go through that with someone too, even when they’re not intending for me to go through it with them. Sometimes I can think that I’m stronger than I am, or that I’m immune to things when I’m really not.  I’m also not immune to feeling as if I’m giving to someone who needs more than I do out of something, and then seeing on the horizon that I might resent it at some point.

Is it possible that some people just aren’t built for relationships in the traditional way that they are defined?

My mother used to tell me she worried that she had raised me to be “too independent” (clearly giving the word independent a negative connotation). I used to believe that wasn’t possible. How could independant be negative? Probably, independent is not necessarily negative…maybe in the context of some relationships it might be however.

I suppose that when these personality traits are combined with a situation where everything moves too fast, too soon, and their circumstantial issues seem too overwhelming, that it would only be a matter of time until I would pull back.

Maybe it’s just time that’s needed. Maybe not. Maybe I have it all wrong. I don’t know.