Strbellysneetch’s Weblog

I don’t know why I did it…but do it I did.

I have finally imported all of my livejournal posts into my wordpress blog. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea…maybe it is just black and white proof that at one point I was sort of crazy (more than now), making bad choices, and a little dramatic. But maybe, just maybe, it’s worth reading. I don’t know.

I know one thing however…today was one of the most stressful, overwhelming days I’ve had thus far in my 31 years of existence. I can’t even give a good explanation of why except that things just built up, and built up today which caused me at one point to be reduced to helpless tears. They built up to the point where every little stressful thing simply added to the big ball of things threatening to crush me flat. I spent some time talking to a good friend; somehow my good friend and I got on the subject of families, childhood, and blogs…all in one big complex bunch. I ended up regaling her with tales of my dramatics as a younger me; which made me realize that I had never finished importing my livejournal entries…only because I told her about the really long story of my epic unhealthy relationship that I felt the need to post.

At the time I was telling her about it to express (in a small sort of way) that I felt odd and awkward about having posted it anywhere, much less on a journal site that hardly anyone I know uses anymore. She said something wonderful to me (well, to be honest, a few wonderful things which simply improved my horrid day) when I was expressing that…that sometimes even when we doubt ourselves for telling a story or (in my perception of the conversation) for being straight up honest about something that there is always the chance that someone somewhere will benefit from it. And she teared up, and I asked her why, and she said, ‘because it’s helped me’. And all I could do was hug the hell out of her, for many reasons.

And then I said to myself, ’so what, self, if people read crazy, dramatic stuff?’ Not many people read it anyway, and regarding those that do…is anything really that crazy, and is anyone really going to spend the kind of time to read incredibly old entries? So I went ahead and imported.