One of my best friends sent me a text message today that read “happy veeedeee”. It was the funniest thing I’d experienced all day (with exception of a somewhat “politically incorrect” joke my Dad made that I will choose to not repeat). Oh p.s., the text that she sent me was not indicative of anything…just in case it needs to be said.
I’ve never been a raving fan of Valentine’s day. I suppose in grade school it was fun to open up all the Valentine cards that everyone was forced to purchase and give away. In retrospect it seems that filling out approximately 30 of those cards up until the 6th grade was more work than the end result was really worth.
When I was 15 and started dating I recall thinking for a while that certainly with the added bonus of a boyfriend something exceptional and dazzling must happen on this holiday. Eventually I realized that it was pretty much just another day regardless of the relationship I was in. We might exchange small gifts, we would spend time together and do the “I love you’s’ and such but obviously it wasn’t particularly memorable since I am hard pressed to clearly remember any of those days. I do remember one in particular in the last few years that I suppose at the time felt special; looking back now though it was essentially just a day where I received pretty promises that were never fulfilled…completely demonstrative of the entire relationship I might add. The last Valentine’s day that I was in a relationship was pretty bad (coincidentally the same relationship as the pretty promise holiday). I won’t go into the details but it was just…not good.
I have now been essentially single for the past couple of V-days and I’ve been fine with it. I no longer have unrealistic expectations as when I was a teenager and I have no issue with not being in a relationship on the holiday. I don’t cry and lament that I’m single…I don’t insist on going out with my single friends armed with the ulterior motive of wanting to meet someone so that I’m not “alone”. I’m okay with it. Today was surprisingly the best Valentine’s day I’ve had in a long while. I spent it with my entire immediate family and it was fun…especially after the long week I’ve had. We ate dinner, we hung out at my Dad’s house for a while just talking and being together which we don’t do as much as we should. It was good. I could have gone out with my Mom and sister but I was tired and chose to come home to my girls (aka the wacko canines that also reside in my tiny apt).
It was a good week all in all, especially after the tiny epiphany I had the other night. The thing is a few years of not talking to someone can have a side effect of making them look better than when you left them. Sometimes people have the capacity to change at their very core, in how they think, how they behave, how they treat others…I’ve come to think that it’s the exception however. Time can sometimes trick one into seeing that in someone when it’s not really there. I realized something else during the conversation that afforded me the epiphany…I’m single right now because I choose not to settle. I choose not to settle for a relationship that doesn’t entirely fit, I choose not to settle for someone that treats me in a way that I can’t appreciate, I choose not to settle for someone that happens to not have the qualities that I would appreciate in a relationship, I choose not to settle for a lot of things. And that’s entirely okay.
Affirmative…it was a good holiday after a good week.
