Archive for February, 2008
My hair girl
Is quite possibly one of the better things that’s happened to me in my lifetime. I appreciate our relationship, for many reasons; I’ve been going to see her for three years now.
She knows that I strongly dislike sitting under the huge overly hot dryer thing when I’m getting my hair highlighted, so she uses extra toner to try to avoid having to ask me to do that.
She has my cell phone number and once when I hadn’t been in for a significant period of time, after having seen that I made an appointment, text messaged me saying that she was excited to see that I would be there and that she had some great ideas.
I don’t feel obligated to chat or make small talk if I don’t feel like it; although since I’ve known her for so long she asks about school, I ask her about her boyfriend, she asks me about my job (admittedly, this often causes the appointment to last longer than it might have since we’re catching up at the same time, but I don’t mind it). Often if one doesn’t have a regular hair girl it can be tempting with new people to feel like there has to be some type of conversation at all times, which can feel awkward. I started seeing her when she was in hair school…I was actually the first person she ever did color on, and she later told me that she was so nervous she wanted to cry; funnily enough I couldn’t even tell at the time that she was anxious at all. That’s how good she was even then.
This evening the appointment ended with a joke. I made an offhand inquiry about what I would ever do if she decided to stop doing hair, and she assured me by saying that she didn’t have any plans to quit anytime soon. We then thought it funny to imagine a scenario where she did quit someday and I became so crazy that I would stalk her and one day she would look out her window to see me with a huge “fro” (her word choice) from not having my hair cared for in so long, calling her name.
It’s a good relationship, and I’m so fortunate to have found her.
I never thought I would be glad to say it…
But Sadie got into the garbage tonight. It made me happy.
I came home only to be greeted by broken glass*** (via glasses that have chipped that I’ve finally gotten rid of), chicken bones (because she now gets fed chicken at night so the protein can help her build up muscle), and various paper crap. I laughed until I almost cried. I’ve taken to leaving the bags of garbage on the counter because I knew that she wasn’t strong enough to hoist herself up on the counter to get it in the first place. I was actually sad that I was able to do that since what it meant was that she wasn’t strong enough to do hardly anything. In only four days, that has been almost totally reversed with the lower dose of her prednisone.
I’m not quite ready to explore how angry I am at the vet in Carnation for keeping her on the higher dose which caused this whole mess of her being too weak to walk in the first place. Eventually I will probably explore it. Right now, I’m just happy as all hell that she is so much better…so much better enough to get up on the counters even. I didn’t even bother to discipline her this evening.
P.S. I do not wish the flu that I experienced last week on anyone (well…with exception of those that I’m really unhappy with at this moment in time…they probably deserve it). Mostly because I walked into a hailstorm of crap to get done today…and I still haven’t checked my voice mails from last week. Hopefully I will have time to do so tomorrow.
All I can say for now is that my dog can move again, and she’s not going to die…and that alone makes this week of overwhelming stuff at work okay. I can deal with it.
P.P.S. I hate Starbucks. Their stupid business decisions resulted in the laying off of my good friends. But hopefully they will find better opportunities as a result, because I truly believe that things happen for a reason.
***Disclaimer: No the dog did not get hurt by the thrown away glasses.
True heartbreak
I had always been under the impression that the most heartbreaking thing I have yet to experience in my lifetime was either relationships, or choosing not to have a child when the accidental opportunity arose (to be clear, experiencing the death of loved people is, I believe, in a completely different category than just heartbreak). I was wrong.
Today was the day for x-rays and a potential answer for what is now wrong with my best Sadie friend. I spent the drive to Carnation (technically, it’s Duvall, I guess) doing my best to muster a positive attitude. I reminded myself that when you take on the responsibility of loving a pet, you might have to be the one to eventually ferry them out of the world. I reminded myself that many things are treatable nowadays, even for animals. I reminded myself that sometimes things can seem really serious at first, but may turn out to be something small or easily corrected. I reminded myself that my Dad was going to meet me there to be with me and the Sadie. I thought about all these things and actually was successful in changing my outlook prior to getting to the vet.
I was painfully early, and as it turned out so was my Dad. They weighed her first, and despite the fact that she seems more bony than ever (despite the gobs of food that I feed her daily in an attempt to increase her weight) she has gained weight. That made me even more hopeful. They escorted us to a room, and being that we were painfully early we waited there for at least an hour before the vet came in to see her. While waiting, my Dad saw how hard it had become for her to get up, he had to listen to me tell the assistant all the symptoms of what I was seeing now…and he got upset. She isn’t even his dog and it made him teary to see what she was going through. On a side note: this is part of what I love about my entire family…we truly care about the things that other family members care about.
Finally the vet came in and took a look at her; he hypothesized that the weight she has at this time was water weight which is apparently indicative of a tumor. I actually was holding it mostly together until he said that word…tumor. Then I lost it…and my Dad lost it a little more. The vet also mentioned that what was going on with her is that she is losing muscle mass, which is why it is so hard for her to get up. Apparently if there is a tumor her body would be using up whatever she ate so fast, regardless of how much she was eating, that it would also move on to her muscles. Also, tumors can apparently grow so quickly that even though she had x-rays not even a month ago…one could have developed in that short time. When it came time to do x-rays with her to see if a tumor was visible, the vet actually picked her up and carried her into the back (this reminded me of why I drive an hour to see this particular vet).
We mostly waited in silence for the vet to bring Sadie girl back, and then to wait for the results. And I did my best to cuddle her on the linoleum floor that she couldn’t get up from. It was pretty awful.
Interestingly though, when he brought the x-rays back, he asked how much, exactly, she’d had to eat recently. I mentioned that my neighbor had her last night and knowing that she’s having weight issues, fed her generously…and that she’d also had breakfast. He showed us the x-rays and what we saw was some ribs, and what looked like a whole lot of food. Which is good…but also bad. All that food caused the results to be inconclusive; he couldn’t tell anything really. What I have to do now is avoid feeding her after about 2pm tomorrow and then take her back on Monday afternoon. This also, is good and bad. Good in that, I still have time to hope that it is something less serious than a tumor…bad, in that, if that’s what it is, it just prolongs the “dealing with it for real” moment. Also bad because I know that she’s going to be painfully hungry tomorrow evening.
But then I came home and did my own research online. I found something called cushings disease, which can manifest itself by increased water consumption, increased appetite, abdomninal enlargement (the “water weight”), and hair loss/thin skin. Cushings disease has something to do with the natural steroid-like chemicals in a dog’s body and therefore, if a dog is on steroids for something else it seems reasonable that a dog might develop this as a result. Maybe. I don’t know. All I know is that this is significantly less serious than a tumor.
There are two things that I know after today:
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My family is so wonderful. Today my Dad sat at the vet with me for hours, so patiently, just to be there and be supportive. He even cried with me. I’m so lucky for the people that care about me (and that care about my dogs even).
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Little Lola knows that something is wrong. She is never more than a millimeter away from Sadie recently.
Hockey players are mean
Well…they seem so to each other at least. I had a most rousing time at the Thunderbirds game tonight. I had never been to a hockey game before. Seriously. Thank you, S, for inviting me. It was great. And thank you for not commenting on my lack of verbal enthusiasm because I know it’s odd to be quiet at a sports event…I’m just not real loud in general really; I’m a watcher, and an observer. I belong in the lame section to be quite honest. :) I’m okay with that though.
By the time we got there it was already 1:1 even though we were only like 10 minutes late. Keep in mind that I had never been to a hockey game. I was honestly under the impression that out of all the sporting events, football would display the greatest show of testosterone and aggression. I was incorrect. They slam each other against walls. They have sticks in their hands when they do this. They slam into each other at an acceleration rate of about umpteen because they’re sliding on ice…and they have no qualms about doing so.
I made jokes before going to this game that I hoped to see a fight…because it’s stereotypical that hockey players get in fights. Some people sort of dashed that hope by saying that nowadays they are much more intrusive of hockey player’s fights with each other. But today at work someone said that the Thunderbirds were actually more aggressive than some other teams. It made me hopeful.
Sure enough, there was not only one fight…not even two…but three. Really. Padding/gloves/gear on the ice…fisticuffs even. The first time it happened everyone jumped to their feet and started cheering. I stood up just like everyone else, so that I could see but all I could do was stare really…mostly due to the fact that the referees just balanced there on their skates, watching the fight. There was no move for some time, to break up the melee. Then S explained to me that they let them fight like that until someone is on the ice. Fascinating. Fascinating, and a concept that was difficult for me to wrap my mind around for a while. Granted, they receive a penalty for doing so, but everyone just lets them fight, it’s okay for the most part.
I had a most awesome time going somewhere that I wouldn’t have normally gone…I had a great time with S.
And I have to mention how much I love my neighbors. They generously allowed Sadie girl in their home while I was gone, fed her gourmet ’people food’, and cuddled with her specifically because she’s not so well lately (and it hurts me to leave her alone…I think my nieghbors know this). I love that my neighbors love her too. (I’m really nervous about what the vet is going to say to me tomorrow.)
