it’s the last night of my stolen mini-vacation

and i’m doing nothing.

there are still things i don’t trust. there are boundaries i don’t trust…or rather, lack of boundaries that i don’t trust. and i don’t know what to do about it.

i don’t know what to do about patterns. things that may always happen that i don’t really want to deal with.

i’m tired. i don’t have enough money. i’m tired of being stressed out. i’m tired of stressing myself out over other people. i worry that i’m not making the right choices and i don’t know how to figure out for sure if i am or not.

i’m pretty sure that if my mother weren’t sick i would try my luck somewhere else other than here.

my ear hurts

from having a headset on all day.

only one more full day left here. and i can’t wait until my first paycheck at starbucks because i will finally be able to have money leftover from paydays again after whatever i need to pay off. that will be nice. i’ll keep thinking of that day.

i want it…

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=10795&item=7129424807&rd=1

and this one too:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=10795&item=7129467415&rd=1

the following is the nutritional info for a 16 oz breve latte at starbucks

Amt Per Serving

Calories 550

Fat Calories 430

Total Fat (g) 47

Saturated Fat (g) 29

Cholesterol (mg) 150

Sodium (mg) 170

Total Carbohydrates (g) 20

it’s gotten worse; what i do at work. i spend most of my time in “idle” doing stupid stuff like calculating fat and calories in coffee. stupid job.

words cannot begin to do justice

in describing just exactly how irritated i am with this job right now.

and with people in general.

not to mention that if i was staying here (i say that because i’m leaving and i don’t truly care) it makes me look bad if there is a call i pick up where the caller disconnected before i got to them. that makes no sense. it becomes my fault when someone hangs up? how does that make sense?

i’m going home, i’m closing the curtains and i’m not talking to anyone.